…I wanted so badly to have some witty suggestion for what the opposite of a yogi would be, but very little cleverness is happening in the headspace-area today, folks. (So let’s write a blog post! Yikes. I’m sorry in advance.)
Yesterday, I looked at my coworker and said, “Can I say something really terrible? I’m thinking of taking tomorrow off. Do you think that’s okay?” To which he responded, “OH MY GOD THAT’S THE WORST THING EVER HOW COULD YOU. And also, that’s totally not terrible and yes – yes, you should take tomorrow off.” He’s a good egg, that one.
Anyway, alas, I could not take today off, but I did compromise: I have a couple of appointments planned, so I decided to just work from home and not bother with the whole “getting dressed and going to the office thing.” I’m working but taking it slow. I even went to a yoga class this morning. I think that’s a fair trade-off.
I am absolutely terrible at prioritizing my health, y’all, but then – that’s why I started this blog, really. It helps me to remember that this is a journey, and it’s nice to have somewhere to document that. I’m not a stay-at-home-mom, I don’t come from money, I have lots of bills and obligations and stress. I don’t eat entirely organic, I’m pretty fond of sugar (it’s the devil, I know – I get it), and let’s be real – I’m a wheezy mess when I run, and after a year of ill health, even the simplest yoga poses HURT. Like a bad word, people. Like a BAD WORD. I often feel like I don’t know where I fit into this shiny blogosphere that can seem very saturated with Whole 30 challenges and Lululemon. (Both of those things are great, by the way. But I’m a hot mess and broke – neither of them are happening for this gal anytime soon.)
And so it’s not easy to keep trying. It’s not easy to remember that no one’s perfect (regardless of what their blog or Instagram looks like), that it IS a journey, that any new habit needs work and time and patience with yourself. That practice is important. That I’m not always going to be great at something right out of the gate. That whatever I’m going to do, however much I love it most of the time, I’m definitely, really going to HATE that very same thing some of the time. It’s hard to remember that I’m ABSOLUTELY going to have pizza and ice cream and cheese, and I’m going to love it, and that’s no reason to feel shame. Because hi – those things are freakin’ wonderful.
That yoga class this morning was great. I was able to get into poses I couldn’t even have dreamt of two weeks ago. And maybe next week, I’ll struggle again. But that’s okay, too. What’s not okay is giving up when I know in my heart that the payout will be worth it. Whenever it comes, it’ll be worth it.
So I guess I’ll stick with my smoothies (seriously, NutriBullet? Marry me.) and my yoga and my barre classes, and I’ll (maybe) learn to love (or at least deal with) every creak and groan and face-palm moment.
There’ll be a lot of them. I’m kind of a klutz.